Could a canary swim?
Last time I ever let you pet sit.
Ran into him today. He apologized via facebook. sometimes I hate our generation
Just puked on the beach. Hungover. In front of my parents. I love summer.
No, I think it was the night I threw up in her front yard. You're thinking of the time I threw up in her backyard.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
of all places to pass out....why right in front of our RA's door? OF ALL PLACES.
it's like russian roulette but with a penis
yeah its nbd she just bit me in the face. be there soon
You know i'm the father figure
Yeah the father who ate her out with me last night. Great dad
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
ok. i'm ready for you to come back and test the structural integrity of this futon.
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
Never thought an ATM max withdrawal could be such a good thing...
I'm somewhere between crying and wanting to orgasm.
So anyways, we returned the toilet paper and decided to use the money for taco bell and slurpees instead...
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