i waited two years for her to sleep with me. it just didnt seem worth it.
she lost her virginity three hours after you dumped her.
are you serious?
Becky drew a cock on my face and is making me sit on the step.
what did you do that she drew a cock on your face and supplemental questions why did you let her?
just passed a tour group on my way home. the guide actually said: 'and THAT kids is whats known as the walk of shame'
He just washed his hands with scrubbing bubbles yelling "They work hard so I don't have to!"
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Thanks for putting the blue stuff in the toilet, it made me throwing up this morning more enjoyable.
According to the stories I've heard I decided I was a stuntman after my 6th shot of Jack
Some guy just delivered flowers to my roommate cause he fell off a roof onto her at a party last night. I think they have a date tomorrow.
Fuck. The basement bathroom I've been getting head in for 6 months just went 'Out of Service'.
He bought me dinner. He gave me his jacket when I was cold. And then ate me out in the passenger sear of the car.
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he told her he was actually impressed that she had fucked more people in this house than the four dudes living in it.
The bar tenders gave me the number for a "taxi"... It's just a dude with a van. In retrospect, pretty sketchy. Robert was cool though.
How do you leave a condom wrapper under my mom's pillow...
This may not be the best moment to laugh, but I am.
Shit. She's still hooking up with some random in the doorway. How do I get out of here?
Well hurry! Everybody is already at McDonalds.
I'm free! Didnt realize how easy it was to crawl out the window.
I want to fuck the side burns off of Steve.
Can't find my wig, my underwear, or my dignity. Halloween 2016
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