So explain to me again how you wake up next to a Brazilian model and I wake up next to a turkey sub? And a jar of grey poupon.
There's a technique?! I just slide my tongue around
i felt like cinderella. except at midnight i turned back into a whore.
Theres someone in the car behind me eating corn on the cob & talking on the phone
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
That's the first time you've ever said the L word without referring to drinking or partying.
Its so akward after he cums on my face. like usually the porn just ends
just ran into my gynecologist at the liquor store... i think she's found the source of my problems
I'm pregaming for my hair cut. Working two jobs definately taught me how to use my time wisely...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No, he's ok. He just broke his teeth on the stripper pole. No biggie.
Im pretty sure by the fifth subway ride after going in circles the four times prior, we all just accepted that we werent making the concert and should instead enjoy our magical weed and tequila laced journey.
I was cracked out naked on a toilet pretending I was posing for playboy.. Shit got weird, but apparently I had a good bday.
If those antibiotics mean you can't drink, ya might as well pack your bags and re-enroll next fall, because sobriety this week would be social suicide.
I don't remember what you did, but I DO remember that i'm supposed to hate you for it.
Here when you come to your senses come back here and I'll fuck you back out of them.
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