We succumbed to passion, and then he had to go meet his girlfriend. End of story.
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
I can't ever handle being "that girl" again. At least not until next semester.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Nah the bridesmaids all had dates. I slept with the next best thing: girl who WANTED to be a bridesmaid but didnt make the cut.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Listen, everyone has a price and mine is free taco bell.
Just remember, if we get caught, you're deaf and I don't speak English.
I took the weekend off because he and I were supposed to go to Vegas for our anniversary and get a hooker remember?
Ah, yes. Who says romance is dead?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
Use "feeling words"
Yay
my vagina is starting to think like a penis, and I'm not even slightly worried
Well, he asked what my sign was, then proceeded to critique me on my beer pong stance... I really need to raise my standards.
Too bad Amazon Prime wouldn't get the wine bra flask to you in time. Concealed alcohol and huge tits? Win-win.
I had fresh baked oatmeal cookies, tacos AND was on deck to give a stellar blow job. You'd think that'd be a win/win/win situation.
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