So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
They're all gay and their wifi network is named HOMOS. I want to live with these people.
Now go wash the fat girl off your hands.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Goddamn you thin people LEAVE FOOD FOR THE BIGGER DRUNKARDS WHO NEED IT
Cause a man that looks THAT good must have an ass that tastes like lucky charms
Also he didn't buy condoms after we ran out last week. Luckily I had one, but I told him he should be more optimistic about getting laid
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
BUT DID YOU RIDE THAT DICK INTO THE SUNSET THO?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I'm taking pictures of my asshole to send to my boss. This is not what I had in mind the day after thanksgiving.
I just borrowed porn from my middle aged mother. This is what desperate looks like.
I'm laying in bed cuddling with my teddy bear and eating waffles. I need a fucking boyfriend
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Being high is definitely not the perfect addition to this family dinner. No. My grandma trips me the fuck out.
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