Heyy I kind of wanted to apologize and excuse myself for last night. I feel like that was a little much. I just met you. That's why I don't like tequila. Haha
it's like sucking your thumb. only its not yours. and its a penis.
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
Saved 180 Bucks tonight. Pulled my own tooth. More money to party with.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just watched the quarterback of Purdue get shut down by a girl at a bar. not a good omen
Well then. It seems like we have a Mexican standoff of genitals
You threw up with your ski mask on still.
Trying to figure out which chair my head was under last night
i think i traded my wallet for a tim hortons gift card.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Me and allie were just offered cocaine by a strange man in a women's bathroom. Why have I not lived in Austin my whole life?
Kinda forgot to grab tampons. Mind if I run to my house to get one? I'd rather not turn my green skinny jeans Christmas colors
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
Incase you were wondering. Cooking naked turns into sex. Sex and cooking may lead to house fire....
My skirt was too short for the church and I brought my flask to the Scrooge play. God bless us, everyone!
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
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