I'm sad I can't be there is wknd, I'm laying on the beach and daydreaming of you / crying a bit
I'm watching a porn and daydreaming of you. Sounds like we both need Kleenex
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
what part of covering your puke with shaving cream seemed like a good idea?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think girls in gamma phi sit around and think about how much they suck?
I'm pre-party power houring. It's so catchy I couldn't not do it
just woke up on my balcony. who won the super bowl?
THAT DOESN'T MEAN YOU SHOULD LET ME CHUG VODKA.
I threw up in the bar parking lot and yelled THIS IS MY FUTURE.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I come back upstairs and there he was sitting in a speedo. He handed me a blanket and said "let's cuddle" how is this real life?
Running across campus through Hurricane Sandy while hammered and in a slutty cowgirl costume obviously should be top priority tonight
We just got in a fight with grandma b/c she tried to tell us you didn't go hard.
Now everytime I sit on a toilet I think about having sex with him. Great.
Yeah, sorry about that. Dropped the phone on my face while I was watching porn.
the only decorations on the Christmas tree were twinkle lights, condoms, and empty natty cans. I do love a classy holiday party
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