i just realized i've hooked up with every boy in this taco bell
That's the classiest thing you've ever said.
She got her phone back last night. And the first thing I sent her was a picture of me pooping in a culvers bathroom
Before we started fucking, he laid me on the bed, and asked my what my sleep number was, so that i would be "comfy"
you know that dress I got margarita and puke on? yeah, just returned it.
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If I was there, I'd make you a vicodin spiked sandwich.
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I just debated creating a mirror system so I could play Batman while in the bathroom. I think I need help.
I already knew that. But I also don't agree with stifling creativity.
It's total crap. On a side note I watched a porn of 4 guys wrestling in chocolate then messing around with each other. It was like a dream come true
I mean, yeah, she was cheating on me but I've been fucking her brother. My secret relationship trumps her secret relationship.
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5am, I am wayy too drunk for this. Hookers came out of nowhere. They're like ninjas. Some poor soul got the fat one, tomorrow's going to be interesting...
Most desperate stoner moment; dropped our hard earned resin ball in the sand, rinsed it off and then did knife hits in the kitchen cuz we broke our only pipe
You had a hat of bras. Probably a good dozen, which is totally impressive for a Thirsty Thursday
In other news: I massively over-caffeinated this morning. Everything is vibrating and I can SEE THROUGH TIME
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
Get your dick back in here. On Saturdays, you're not allowed to leave my bed unless it's to make me bacon or coffee.
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