I don't believe in a God but I'm almost positive I just shit out the devil.
the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
He's on drugs...like drugs for horses.
I just threw up, I'm either bulemic or pregnant, and I'm now accepting bets on which it is
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm too high to be shopping. I just contemplated deoderant for fifteen minutes. Now testing pillows
We went to the police station completely hammered looking for you. Don't tell me I'm not a good friend.
I woke up and peed for 26 seconds this morning. 26 seconds!
I'm not sure where but someone shit somewhere in the house
God you better not be texting me after just having sex with someone from craigslist
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he's a ginger AND was born with 2 holes in his penis. sleeping with a rare species & I LOVE THE THRILL
I ate a hotdog off the ground last night.
Sleeping with him wouldn't be considered hoeing out... It seems more like babysitting.
You have got to be the only man who has passed out while getting a lap dance.
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I should have known it wouldn’t work. Someone saved in her phone as “Subway Sex” called the week before the wedding
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