i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
my hot student got the clitoris wrong on the lab practical...so it kinda makes me not want to pursue it
just because he can't find it on a cat, doesn't mean he can't find it on you
Seriously, let me lead the intervention, my parents did like three with me. I know how it works.
Hooked up with my first aid and cpr teacher last night. She dressed as a lifeguard and brought me back to life. Beat that.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I have fence marks all over my body
Holy shit, we're married as fuck.
I'm currently in a U-Haul truck right now. Going to a party. I hate myself.
just to let you know, that was probably the funniest text i've ever received.
I suppose that kind of helps fill the void where my self respect used to be.
after the ketamine those signs on the bathroom door had little meaning to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Day drunk. He was sitting in the back seat, opened the door, leaned out, and peed right there in the dutch bros drive through. No one even noticed haha
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
The gate guard just said to me, "I almost didn't recognize you in uniform. Welcome back." I think I need to lay off the booze.
Listen, i know this is weird for you, but as your fuck buddy, id prefer if you didnt fuck her.
Youre asking too much from me
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
I got conspiracy theory drunk.
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