My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
That sound you heard was the sound of millions of brackets exploding simultaneously
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We're going to play a drinking game. It's called "Senior Year of College."
The magic cards should have been the first clue. The comments that I have "amazing birthing hips" and that I'm "beautiful in a child bearing sort of way just sealed his fate.
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
All she kept whispering was put your pickle in my mouth. Then she fell out of her barstool and chipped her tooth
At least is you came to Milwaukee to visit me you'd get the best mind blowing sex of your life and free wifi. Who doesn't want free wifi!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I would use the term shit faced but I'm too polite for that
I'm going to three dry weddings this month. I'm flashing three dry weddings this month
i feel sensations at the ends of my beard. Either I am super high. Or my face has accepted my beard and I completed my transformation to Mecca
he won't tell me his last name, but I know his garage key code
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
I think my life is a one-way ticket to blackout city.
Randomize