I molested 6 butterflies tonight
For future reference, even the most well-intentioned game of whiskey pong is a terrible idea.
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
He just reenacted his orgasm in front of my roommates....using a squeeze bottle of mayonnaise.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Having skype sex with him in the lounge at 1:45am...THIS IS WHAT HE DOES TO ME
She carries a brick in her purse. I wouldn't get in a fight with her
Do you think she will like "you don't have to swallow this time" gift certificates for Xmas?
Grandpa got a dui while riding a horse. This is what I need to live up to.
My goal is to go an entire semester without cocaine. That's an adult goal right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Well, we could've been at the bar taking a shot everytime my rash spread. But Noooooo. You had to go out with your non- girlfriend. Lame.
Normal people find beers in their gym bag, right?
good news, i've got tacos. bad news, kevin's in the ER. more good news, the tacos were free.
I haven't been drunk for four days and just realized I haven't taken a shit for three. This can't be healthy.
Which part?
I just don’t understand what sort of USPS worker wants to take my unitard and sex toys.
Hangover and judgement, the breakfast of champions.
Randomize