I love you
are you drunk
yes but I def love you, we should get married
But I'm Jewish
embrace Jesus
Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
well you can't waste a boner
watching law and order svu marathons. all of the sex crimes cases start like my sat night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
What. The. Fuck. No, you will not spank me.
That wasn't intended for you, my bad.
I'm wearing an NBA shooting sleeve while jerking off...and yes my arm has stayed warm
FYI, when you wake up, please note that I puked in your shoes because I sstubbed my tooee, not becus I was drunk.
I don't want to get into details but it feels like there was a bear mauling involved. A very good bear mauling.
I really think that guy just walks around with tennis balls in his pocket. No dick is that big
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel that my cleavage set an unattainably high bar for 2013.
He called me baby cakes during sex... Can U not
Remember when we made out in a Chik-Fil-A drive thru?
You're lucky I'm holding your vagina in my best interests
The blunt fell in the hottub, i mean i knew she was upset but i didnt expect her to dive for it and come up balling her eyes out...
Thank you for stopping me from getting a butt tattoo. That was a good call.
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