It's a sad day when you have to slightly move your fupa to shave.
my brother is about to go smoke a joint outside... he's preparing his munchies on the counter beforehand. I admire his responsibility.
She's thinkin about havin beer pong at her reception... She's walkin a fine line between trashy and the best idea ever
I had a nursing patient tell me that her favorite drink was vodka and ensure...called it a colorado bulldog
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
it was like i was on a global safari of uncircumcised men
How is it possible that I am in a completely different city, and there are 2 dudes here that I've banged? How????
After they flagged you, you hid in a bathroom stall and text me to bring you more shots. That kind of drunk.
Saturday evening, however, will be my vodka and bubble wrap extravaganza.
I say go for the trifecta and maybe you'll get a medal or something. Or a baby. That's like the same thing right?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I am not betting on the failure of any friend that is not you.
Thats not real though. Slash there are other extenuating circumstances to lead me to believe dick is wanted
HOLY FUCK I SPELLED EXTENUATING RIGHT ON THE FIRST TRY. IM THE BEST DRUNK NA
She can't even plan ahead to have toilet paper for her next shit
He asked me what I wanted for Christmas. I told him an orgasm would be nice.
I know it's wrong but I'm human. Now get over here, tie me up, feed me pizza and Fuck the crazy out of me. Please.
WHERE THE FUCK IS MY ARM DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA HOW DIFFICULT IS IS TO TYPE WITH ONE HAND
Randomize