No matter how drunk I am, I will take the time to wipe a pube off the toilet seat.
So for two years my friend Mark has been building a catapult in his basement. Yesterday he realized it's too big to get it out.
You need to give me a reason immediately why he is your friend.
Just left a map of the Aleutian islands on this Eskimo girls face. Check one off my Alaska to do list.
Theres was an instant understanding between us being drunk on the trampoline at four in the morning and the people walking down the road at the same time
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I dunno. It's not as good as 'devourer of cocks' but I suppose few things are.
haha she has always seemed a little off. when i met her i was told she was the queen slut. and she had a crown on at the time. it seemed appropriate.
Yeah I should probably start planning our first conversation instead of our first child.
I remember nothing of last night, but I did manage to figure out which frats I went to by the trails of straw across campus.
She said she was jealous that i could wear headbands, then growled at the ground in shame..
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like rock paper scissors. Cold showers and smoking beat hangovers.
Why am I feeling up grandma?!
I'm really glad a picture of you as an infant followed this text.
why do you keep saying "she looks like a porn star" like thats a bad thing?
Not sure but if it exists I will find it and I will fill my face with it
It started getting weird when you decided to scold my vagina.
The same idiot-bubble, now just bigger and louder.
Randomize