gin and tonic in a mug. no limes so im using canned madarin oragnes. classy or trashy?
homeless.
the best job he will get is a sex ed teacher in alabama
I just walked in on my roommate beating off with no pants on, an unbuttoned hawaiian shirt and a cowboy hat, and he weights 300 pounds
No i dont need Magnum Condoms, that would be like putting MC Hammer pants on my dick
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I found a digiorno pizza in my washing machine.
It really ruins the moment when you have to ask to resend the nude pics.
I'm not wearing underwear, I started my period this morning, and it's super windy. Recipe for disaster?
Remember how he wouldn't sleep with me "out of respect"? Well, Mr. Respect just fingered me in a parking garage.
Its official, if she bites your dick through your jeans, ya'll go together. A lesson you shouldn't have to learn after the fact.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Might be using my graduation money to pay for an abortion.
I think we've gotten passed awkward... the day I woke up at the palms and ur getting eaten out by the dude who just fucked me on the balcony.
Im pretty sure I didnt bang him becasue I woke up at 6am to him jerking off with a fleshlight right next to me in bed ... He made himself cum and was moaning my name ... MOST AKWARD EXPIERENCE OF MY LIFE
I had to take on your role as drunk idiot....I have no idea how you do it so well and so regularly. That shit is exhausting.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
I woke up and there was a huge blow up palm tree in my bed...
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