I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
Did we use protection last night?
Um, no...keep in touch, okay?
Tell your boobs to stop staring at me.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Woke up this morning with seven juice boxes under my pillow and an empty box of condoms In my pocket. Good night.
Masturbating on the clock at work is my specialty.
Yes, he did use his cock to direct traffic from my 3rd story window. That's why I love him
My mom was looking at curtains for me and sent pictures and I had to be like "not the Disney princess pink and purple, more like an acid trip"
I am literally sitting here with a jar of Nutella and a spoon, reading an article called "never drink alone again because now there's wine for cats." How single am I?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sex obviously provides more sustenance than oatmeal.
So there I was, eye fucking the waiter and I spilled beer all down my boobs
I just masturbated while watching Say Yes to the Dress
This is what my life has come to
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Just went to jump into bed... Completely missed the bed.
Got home. Somebody tried to sell me weed on the street. I've never had to try so little to find a dealer before.
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