Sometimes I wonder if we could be friends if we lived closer.
Confirm for me that it's be a bad idea to sleep with the 50 year old that's currently hitting on me?
Or they can chase TEQUILA shots with it. I don't know why my phone capitalizes TEQUILA.
I AM SUCH A BETTER PERSON ON DRUGS
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
It wasn't a threesome, it was me making out with one while looking at the other one screaming "does this make you jealous?"
Oh they knew you from a bachelorette party! You were the pole?
Ohhh shit yeah that was me. Fuck. I hate myself when I do that.
Somehow I got food poisoning AND alcohol poisoning in the same night. Its like everything I love is trying to kill me. I'm waiting for my tv to make its move.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Who showers for four hours?!
It was like a tropical nap.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Ill go to bed but tamed sharks isnt so much of a bad idea. Not for riding
Yeah, reverse cow girl. She was on top and I was playing Flappy Bird behind her back. Easiest way to have angry sex.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
I feel like your boyfriend deserves to know that you're a lesbian.
Yeah. I got a Tetnus shot then partied like it was 1999.
Randomize