tod's in jail
he was afraid of holiday checkpoints so we let him ride my mom's tandem bike home. by himself. at 4 am.
And then I watched some old guy get arrested for meeting some other old guy for a blow job. It was epic.
He lasted like 30 seconds. With a condom. I just expected more from the president of a frat.
The voicemail says i shouldn't bother ever showing my face there again, i don't understand
We visited your boss last night. guess you wont be paying the rent this month, eh?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She refused to give me a hand job while we were watching a war movie saying she didn't wanna disrespect the soldiers
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
I miss your penis. I'm telling you this as a friend, like its just a really great penis. You should be proud of it.
You dont realize corn stalks will cut until you run from the cops through a corn field.
I think they're German
Just say lederhosen and see what happens
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
The nausea has returned and I can't handle such things to exit my body so violently
I am thinking about buying a decorative chest for all our sex stuff....
I want Walter White to make me a bologna sandwich while I'm chained to a support
Current dream situation- Gordon Ramsey is my Uber driver and he's hauling around a backseat filled with chocolate covered açai berries. I'm good for eternity.
He took home that trashy slut from Bama but a NFL Lineman was just in my DMs so... who’s the real winner here
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