I would drag my balls through a mile of broken glass to eat pudding out of her anus
Remember how we wr so drunk last nite we cldnt find whr i shot my load? ...found some of it.
he asked you how you felt and you yelled "I FEEL SO PROACTIVE!" and started coloring with sharpies
JAMES WASHOMGTON STATE ATTACKED US
WE'RE FYCKED UL HARDCORW
THE REISLING ATRACEX US
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
check off brunette on the list of girls tht hit me with there cars and then fucked me later
She's like the Michael Jordan of alcoholism
That commercial was clearly aspirational. I think Arbor Mist would pair nicely with Oscar Meyer
So, I'm tripsitting Ruben cause he's on LSD, and he's starting to eat the chair because 'it is evil' according to him... I can't choose: should I stop him or film it?
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Hit a new low. I'm FB stalking him while he is lying in bed sleeping naked next to me. He fell asleep with FB still open and unlocked on his iPad.
the liver wants what the liver wants
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
I've sold more douches working here than one man should sell in a lifetime
I let a 30 year old guitar player that works at a call center go down on me in his backseat last night
I can get weed and taco bell delivered but frozen peas and a loaf of bread are just too scarce, what the hell is wrong with people?
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