She said her first boyfreind was so small she is still technically a virgin.
Just walked by a yard full of girls wearing bikinis. I did my best to stare.
It's only 4 pm and I'm already way past my preferred quota of "could have died" moments
it tasted disgusting. but i pretty much drank it in the name of science, and free alcohol
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I KNOW. I'm like, ew who are these ppl. And then I remember I'm traveling to New York to accidentally hook it with two different dudes in one weekend.
In less than 24 hrs I went from conversing with Nobel Laureate, to hangover vomiting in front of a drive thru cashier
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
I forgot how weird my hair bleaches and now I'm a calico
You can wake up to my rainbow of failure
It's after midnight. I didn't find the answer to my problem, but I did find the bottom of a bottle of vodka, so... there's that.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
I'm like a hairless cat ready to be ravished
Woke up with a bed full of sand...care to explain?
Isnt is self explanatory?
He was singing on top of spaghetti, and then started crying. He said it was the saddest song ever, "so so sad".
Really should've known 2020 was gonna suck when the guy dressed as baby new year got arrested at our party 5 past midnight...
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