Yeah I gave the girl a dirty look. And only a three dollar tip.
I made out with a fat chick last night in a hot tub... btw I am breaking up with you
OH RELAX, IT WAS PITY SEX.....
just crush a couple of percocets into it. tell him sam adams came out with a new beer. flavored with sleep.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Your tequila is gone. I suggest you bring more home before you go out for dinner. Money is taped to mailbox.
you are not perverted enough for this relationship to work out.
I'm gonna have to flying elbow somebody tonight in memory of Macho Man
Don't count me out just yet. Considering bartering a blowjob to see if that boy from work will take my shift.
Im in Ft Meyers right now looking right at an alligator. I have had a couple of beers and people are telling me not to feed him but Im gonna do it anyway.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Id fuck him but only at his house and he had to stay im bed till i left. He only works upper body. It just creeps me out how tiny his legs are
I mean he gave me an 'I owe you an orgasm' fist bump
Omg. I just remembered my underwear is in my wallet
we tried to make a drinking game out of 4 pokemon cards you found in a drawer.
I told him I hooked up with his best friend. And then he ate me out. I'm just THAT GOOD.
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