What the fuck I just showed up to court still drunk and the judge told me I smelled like his wife
No idea how i never noticed that penis before. I wonder if it works
So I gave him a handjob and now we aren't friends anymore
You're at Notre Dame. What did you expect?
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She was our DD the least I could do is have sex with her. Even when drunk I'm still chivalrous.
This is davidson friend mat i an drunk. Thank you for having a physical relationship. With David. I bet he gas a penis the size of an elephant tusk. You are a lucky lady.
Also, that dude projectile vomiting all over the living room was the perfect distraction for me to swipe the booze and run.
Let's just rave with boners that last for hours
I just spent 10 min explaining to my mom how orange is a strange color. I think she knows
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Maybe it was that imaginary ghost dick you were stuffing in your mouth a minute ago
I guess I just stopped wanting to rip his balls out and started being okay with him being alive. that's a typical feeling for exes right?
spring break - time to see if my two week detoxing gave my liver a chance to recover.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
God damn. You sleep with one 40 year old married dude and suddenly you have “daddy issues”. Fuck all of you.
How far are you from my house? Do I have time to masturbate before you get here?
Randomize