porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
I judge my drunkenness on my brickbreaker playing skills. I'm winning. Suck it.
come outside for a special surprise it involves huge boobs
I just want to hang out with her.
You're a liar. Why do I have to give you reasons you can't have sex with my mom? I hate you.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
my phone calendar just alerted me that it's "weed time" in 15 minutes. do not remember setting that alert last night...
she's throwing a head of lettuce everywhere shouting HEADS UP and trying to get us to play catch with her. i'm scared.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I woke up this morning covered in blood and peanut butter. I am now safe from vampires with nut allergies.
Two words that describe last night: naked and backflips.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I give you full permission to fuck a rando on my air mattress.
This hurricane better not stop me from sitting on the stoop thurs & enjoying all the slutty costume walkofshamers
We both got free alcohol and got laid by foreign men last night.
I'm not going out again for the rest of my life. I can't top this.
You know, part of me wants to die and the other part of me doesn't want to live
I woke up next to my bosses toilet.i wish you had just left me in the neighbors yard.
How do I stop your cat from bathing me? I'm afraid she'll get drunk off my sweat
Randomize