Never name a vibrator after ashton kutcher
I was rubbing the clit just like wikipedia told me to.
he was like "finding out that arrested development was cancelled" bad
So we sucessfully lit our bathtub on fire. Thought you should know.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously? Time stamp. 2:31 AM. And I am taking self potraits with a tree. Betty Ford anyone?
this is probably the only time in my life that i would want to fuck thomas jefferson
She just opened a six pack of corona with her car door ... I had no idea she was such a skilled drunk
you're going to have to hot glue me into my dress tonight. there's no way out.
You know I told you about that hammering at 3 AM yesterday? Turns out it was Holly beating the lock out of her door with a mallet because she'd forgotten her keys.
Doesn't she keep a spare?
Drunk Holly doesn't listen to Sober Holly's plans.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
So are we just not going to talk about the time I came home to you jerking it in the kitchen?
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I'm standing on the corner in a banana costume and cape with frozen bananas in my utility belt reassessing my life decisions.
Stop confusing me with every girl you know that doesn't like sex.
The orgasm I got from him made me feel almost as good as I imagine the girls in the tampon commercials feel.
Dude, she was there with her husband and I was there with my wife. Of course we banged in the bathroom.
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