I woke up and went to my kitchen naked and decided I wanted a fruit cup. Ate said fruit cup. Look over and notice my male neighbor is staring at me
No gym. Sooooo hung over. Just puked up the water I drank and it still has ice cubes in it.
through my window right now you can see the hot chick next door is standing BUTT ASS NAKED eating peanut butter off a knife.
ill be there in 5.
I feel I need to conquer him. He's six ft eight and 265lbs. Its like the mount Everest of sex.
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It's official. I now have that "I was drunk and needed the money" college story to share later in life.
They found a chair, duct taped me to it, then gave me a bottle of vodka to 'make me feel at home'
IF SOMEONE ASKS YOU IF YOU WANT THE GOOD DRUGS YOU SAY YES.
Cookies. Watch out fir falling satellites.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
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i would stab him if he didn't just tell me he is a priest
the night literally screamed "cock and ball torture"
Wtf can everyone stop fucking in my grandma's bed? This is like the third time
Did you see her happy birthday to emily on facebook? The gist of it is like: hey emily you almost died at birth im glad you didn't. love mom.
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
Interlocking vagina powers go!!'
Oh god, your drunk again aren't you?
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