I just saw a stripper wear a tube top around her floppy gut. God bless Michigan.
i decided i am going on the Justin Bobby plan for success. Don't cut my hair for a year, don't shave for a month, land Audrina Patridge. Game on.
My cousin's dog just exhaled smoke. My job here is done.
I was thinking Sara Jessica Parker was hot. That high.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I will never get the visual of you crying while chewing christmas lights out of my head
I'm walking down the street with a Starbucks in one hand and a flask in the other. People seem to have a staring problem
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
I don't think tequila will soothe the spots where my tonsils used to be.
I'm eating tortillas right now. Like not cooked tortillas. Someone is playing the guitar. Man with bandana.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Not going to lie: not even the fact I'm wearing men's cargo pants can hide the fact I have an awesome ass.
If you keep giving me that glorious dick ill bake you some cookies
And on a positive note i found a list that i made in 3rd grade titled "what to do if you want a guy to like you"
He knocked me over backwards in my chair. I had a beer in each hand. Didn't spill a drop.
No one can explain why there is Dora the Explorer shampoo in my shower...
I just discovered that jello shots are the best hangover cure
You said that last night when you did jello shots at 4am
Randomize