He has such a weird drunk-voice.
dude, he's deaf.
what i wouldnt give for a night at orourkes without seeing 3+people ive slept with
all I remember was being half naked drinking water on my hands and knees from her dogs water bowl.
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
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In other news I saw a pack of make believe zombies walking down green st.
gotta love wednesdays
Now he's trying to use the tornado warnings as an excuse to get head. Yeah, b/c THAT'S the last taste I want in my mouth b4 I die...
There're making snowcones with the leftover vodka from last night. This is not the time to be making up excuses!
Haha I will however wear glass and and draw a lightning bolt scar if you want to have sex that way, and that can be the only time you can call me Harry.
She asked me to head butt her and after half a bottle of whiskey that seemed reasonable.
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What's the sex policy on a school bus? Because I dibs back seat.
Sex allowed. Dress code is neon and obnoxious.
We are gonna die. I wanna enforce the "no jumping out of moving vehicles" policy. And how are we gonna get a school bus through mcdonalds drive thru?
Thanks for the pic It's going to be lovely dealing with my boner while I'm in a meeting with your father.
You started pulling out condoms from your fanny pack and threw them at all the couples on the beach
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
I'm just now realizing I've slept with guys from three different decades over the past year. That's gotta be some sort of record.
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