I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
CONGRATS VODKA, YOU WON RHIS TIME..
Please tell me why your entire hallway smells like microwaved condoms.
Don't you realize there's more to life than sex and pizza rolls?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
I'm bringing cupcakes to work today as an apology for my actions at the bar last night, my boss probably can't look at me the same ever again
The only difference between us and a pack of 14 year old girls is substance abuse
some dude just accurately guessed my height and bra size.. that is cup AND inches around. creepy, yet impressive
He's beautiful. His facial hair makes me wanna cum in it
Ew, no. But yeah I feel the same
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You know what? The sex was so bad that I don't even care that I gave him strep.
I only want to come over for sex and blueberry pancakes
He must be a special kind of stupid to cheat on a women who works at a funeral home. Does he not understand you can get rid of dead bodies easier than most Americans?
Three Decembers later, I'm looking at this fuckin Santa lingerie I bought and just realized my stocking never got stuffed....
i was sitting on the kitchen floor shaking my gallon of vodka at people and asking if they wanted to climb the heaven hill... getting dumped is the best thing that has ever happend to me
I feel like i'm being yelled at when you type in all caps.Did you just have bad sex?
Randomize