doooooooo herrrrrrrrr
I'm out of practice. be my yoda
put your penis in her you must.
found out this morning via facebook that the guy i met last night has a wife and a baby and he took me to his apartment where he takes girls to cheat on his wife
i mean you met him at the daytona 500
i wanna give whoever invented massage chairs a blow job.
Chillin with my Grandpa and my grandma tells us there is a tornado warning. My grandpa then says "We'll go hang out in the basement, we can bring the keg with us." This is why I love coming home
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Sometimes i wish my penis was detachable that way i could take it off sometimes so i wouldnt get into these situations
She said i saw her in the study room, waved, disappeared, came back with a coke from god knows where, and slurred "i have a drinking problem but i ate grits"
he just used "boss" and "boner" in the same sentence. I cant respond.
He is eating chips off the floor in the emergency room..
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Do you think blood ever gets sick of carrying all these drugs around?
Like, there are so many different things we make it do, and it just wants to settle down and be a one-drug fluid?
Stop reading WebMD high.
Every time he asks me if I'm horny I'm just like come on...stupid question
I'm scared to touch anything in this apartment. Even the ceiling.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
I'm not well. Although it could be worse.
My cousin is so hungover she quit her job.
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