I'm just trying to think of how much money Little Debbie would make if pot was legalized.
I feel like I was just dunked in a tub of beer and then thrown in a giant dryer with rocks in it.
So getting drunk in honor of the bomb threat is legit right?
He gave me four orgasms and I kept yelling "Thank you!" and he kept replying, "My pleasure!"
Midwestern nice.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I GOT MY PERIOD THIS IS A GLORIOUS DAY I AM TOTALLY GOING TO MAKE PIES TO CELEBRATE THAT THERE ARE NO REPUBLICANS IN MY UTERUS!
"I gave a guy a handjob last night, on a dog bed, inside a fireplace. It's going to be a good year."
I want to be the sort of person he can respect in the morning once the drugs wear off.
i think the last part kind of negates the first part there
I've found myself wondering why I WASN'T naked before, but I generally always know why I am naked. Except now. WHY THE FUCK ARE WE ALL NAKED
I know you're aving fun across the room but I can clearly see you getting a handy. It's not as "low key" as she promised. Also, why are you texting while she's doing it?!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Just got road head. In broad daylight. On the interstate. During rush hour. Pushing the envelope one public bj at a time.
I never thought I would be saying these words but...when did David Spade get hot?
Do you think I can get away with quoting Work Bitch by Britney Spears in my speech?
But truly, sorry about your empty vagina
Thanks boo.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
Dude I just woke up naked on the floor with my dick in a boot. Legit in a fucking boot. I also have no idea where I am.
Randomize