I had a dream last night that we were eating cake at Mercy...hahaha. I'm furious I didn't see you.
that's the second time you've been mistaken as a prostitute. maybe life is trying to tell you something
its my fault though, i'm wearing tights
you're hiking in tights? you remind me of dennis quaid's fiance in the parent trap
Baton twirling is one of his activities on facebook.
Also he is "an Ohio stae gran champion twirler". You cannot tell me he's straight
do you want me to make hamburgers?
i'm vegan
i'll put lettuce on them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just spelled fiance, "pheancie". I dont think he's ready to get married.
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
her bridesmaids come in huge, huger, wtf, and free willy. all their gown are strapless. its like watching the Hindenburg waddle down the isle.
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
Get to the bar. Power hour leading up to the rapture.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've made friends with the guy dressed as a gorilla that was chasing the guy dressed as a banana around with a super soaker full of vodka. I feel this will be a good relationship for me.
She said "oh yeah" like Hulk Hogan with the muscle flex and everything. Totally digging this chick
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
Let's get drunk and go to Walmart and just tackle people at random.
I can't decide which is better: the sex, or remembering that I have ice cream in the freezer after he left
One of my nipples looks nothing like the other...i don't know how this happened
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