i kept saying "bloody hell" in a ron weasley accent until i forcibly told myself to shut up
dude your girlfriend loves you alot..she yelled your name lastnight in bed
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
Vodka + horseback riding = vomit in the saddle bags
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
The important thing is not that we avoid making mistakes, but that we avoid learning from them.
I'm sorry but I have WAY too many sex/ hookup related bruises on visible areas to be going home tmrw
Boobs are also good for catching the vodka gummy bears that miss my mouth
I just haven't been myself lately. I slept with a guy 21 years older than me and I've been wearing my hair in a center part.
This morning I got out of bed 4 HOURS LATE, made eggs with a plastic beach shovel, and then ate them using pens like chopsticks in my bed with my turtle. Obviously, I am not in the mood to be proactive with my life today...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Omg he has a washer and dryer IN his apartment and lots of back up toilet paper. I went home with an adult. My uterus is pumping out eggs beyond my control.
We were banging then all I remember is coming down hard and smashing my top teeth off his forehead. I just rolled off and tapped out. Done-zo
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
Grandma's bordering on serious shit show territory at this point.
He's a fucking ninja- think of the things he can probably do with his dick.
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