ps i may or may not be wearing a sequined bra
so then we both started to do the walk of shame and she didnt realize we had fucked in her apartment until some lady said hi to her in the elevator
you didnt stop her?
too entertaining
I honestly get shocked all over again every time I pull his pants down. It's one of those feelings you never get tired of.
she won't be coming home tonight because she tried stealing a baby giraffe from the zoo
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I'm on my fifth double. This night is getting better whether it likes it or not.
I don't think the cop knew you were on ecstasy until you asked for a back rub.
he handed me my panties in front of my date. turns out he wasn't that mad.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
oh come on since when have relationships been boundary lines for us
fair point
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She had caution tape on her head and she blew me.
They had like literally all the dildos. It looked like a seance for dick. I left the apartment and haven't been back.
ED guy's penis finally worked last night. It was a Festivus miracle!
Truth be told it's significantly easier to get over someone when they file a police report on you
Sorry for face licking, I probably won't do it again.
Also, I love cats. I sat on the floor and they sat with me.
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
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