Also my back is semi rug burned and I'm holding you fully responsible.
I would love to give you more rug burn
I think the recipie for awesome sauce is butter and semen
I know the scar will be in an obvious place, that's why I'm certain it'll score me cancer blowjobs
I started to trust fall random people on the dance floor
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
This dude. Just lost. A finger. He asked us for tape.
You better fuck one or both of those bitches and bring me pictures that will make me uncomfortable
I can do at least one of those things.
Can we talk about the fact that I plucked weed off your ass this morning like it's a normal thing to do?
It was insane. I was drunk for 11 consecutive hours. I woke up covered in almonds and there were footprints all over my shirt
I am tired of banking on my penis size to overcome my lack of game.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
i've written a new chapter in the saga of unexpected dongs
The guys are trying to figure out my orientation....think theyve settled on "drunksexual"
did you just send me my own nude
I put on that one song on Titanic so he'd fall asleep. When I was positive he'd passed out in a drunken fit, he outstretches his arms and says "I'm flying, Jack.."
You know what i hate? I hate when the ppl you drunkenly made out with actually want to talk to you sober. It just doesn't work that way sir.
Seriously. There were about 4 hours in which I swear my nose was not attached to my face.
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