i told my grandma i broke up with my boyfriend. her reply " you need to play the field more anyway"
I sometimes forget that turkeys are alive even when its not Thanksgiving.
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
This is me reassuring you that I'm still alive and making sure you still are.
The girl behind me in psych just tapped me on my shoulder to tell me there was a condom wrapper in my hood.
Accidentally hit on the same girl twice at the bar, she give me her number both times though so I think its cool.
Can vaginas get frostbite?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
He's gonna fuck me, then his girlfriend is going to come over and fuck me in front of him. And they're smoking me out. Happy birthday to ME
Plus my parents would be pissed if I spent Thanksgiving in jail... again.
I got drunk off three vodka cranberry’s and told him to “WWE raw dog me.” Fucking kill me.
last night you made out with a 19 year old on a bar and i woke up with a swede in my bed. lets just say that never happened.
Dad is wasting no time getting back out there. Just walked in on him and a Twin Peaks waitress in the hot tub
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