In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
all i remember is being at the diner with her at 3am and her storming into the kitchen to make sure the chef gave me regular fries instead of home fries.
I could end up kidnapped. Or worse, the night will be really awkward.
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Headed to the bar now. If I smell faintly of latex and tuna, it's just the new scent I'm trying.
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
I'm sure me singing - rather loudly - "fuck me in the back seat" last night didn't help either.
Do you think county jail has a Groupon?
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Did she owns a vibrator that will set off seismic activity.
We were hunting our best friend with a BB gun in the backyard. I'd say the vaporizer was a worthy investment at this point.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
She said she was sorry for rolling around in her own vomit. Honestly, I thought it really added to the party.
It's beautiful. It's what jesusxwants. I should send you a pic of my boobs out of friendship
Mandatory face masks - finally, a solution for lip augmentation failures and bad breath.
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