Can Purell be used as lube?
TIT CHECK! TIT CHECK! ALERT! ALERT!!!!
he was uncircumcised...I HAVE NOT YET REACHED THAT SKILL LEVEL OF DICK
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
have u ever looked at the reflection of the water n watched the poop come out of u?
why can't you just be normal
Literally just stood in the shower and forgot what to do. that hungover.
She must have been at ribfest tonight because my dick smells like barbeque sauce
Went to my car this morning. Found a waffle from Waffle House in the front seat. No idea how it got there. So hung over I ate it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We woke up under the ping pong table holding hands.
I just handed the barista at Starbucks a panty liner instead of my card....maybe I should upgrade this Tall to a Venti...
she walked through the crowd, completely naked, slapped a pool attendant in the face and stole the towel he was carrying. she used it to dry her hair.
I didn't tell that thing I wasn't coming over. Whoops
You know you haven't dated in a while when you call boys "that thing" and call dates "a boy type thing."
I took a picture of you last night while you were drunk, trying to smoke a bowl through your nose. It's now your contact id.
She looked like a cross between Jesus and John Lennon. So I fucked her. I feel majestic and powerful.
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