I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
Not just anyone can homewreck on three continents simultaneously
you are my hero
His facebook says he is a fan of "underwater handjobs"
they just tried to tell me they weren't big into drugs. A) it was the 70's. B) I've seen the pictures.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
she made me put on a condom before giving me a handjob...this is why i hate freshmen
They have beer in plastic boots. How am I supposed to resist that?
It's like the last supper of drinking before the summer ends
There's strippers and bear every where so ether you gave me the wrong address or this is the coolest birthday party thrown for a seven year old ever.
My week is over as of 8pm tonight, and I'm herpes free...Let's rage
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
Go to the bar. Find a girl. Ask if she can cook. Tell her you have a guitar at home. Ask her if she wants to see it. Bring her home. Sleep with her. Tell her it's your birthday in the morning. Enjoy your made with lust breakfast.
Yo. What's your name again? You put "don't tell your landlord" as your name lol
After sex he brought chocolates and said he loves RuPaul's Drag Race. How many points does he score for that?
We laughed, we cried, we fucked, we shirked our familial and work related responsibilities. They could make a movie about the last 40 hours of our lives.
I just chased my hot mailman down the street to ask him out and now I am 98% positive he gave me a fake number.
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