I jusy said out loud "gingers unite in the middle of the night"
were having a shit on karen session at work but then she walked in so we used code names instead and she tried to join in like she knew them
dude, the summer is killing me. i just woke up cause my balls were stuck to HER leg!
i'm so desperate for a drink right now i looked up the recipe to make pruno
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think most guys look at porn as a fallback career. I mean I know I do.
My biology professor just used the phrase "dick fairy" in a sentence. No, it didn't make more sense in context.
All i remember before i blacked out is you pointing to a random chick and telling me to bang her for America.
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
Sry I came all over your dress. Think of it as a Vegas souvenir.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trumps. I've been wiping my ass with fast food napkins for 3 days.
My tuesday consisted of speaking to a federal agent for two hours and watching a roving band of gypsies jump over a fire until 2:30am
I just love it. It's warm and soft and the rest of the world is so mean. My bed would never be mean to me
For the sake of being nice I congratulated her and she replied with something along the lines of that I need to stay away from him and not touch him ever. I really wanted to be like "been there, done that" but my New Years resolution was to not start any cat fight over boys with small dicks before noon
I just had to close my blinds so my neighbors wouldn't see me drinking a beer at 9 am. GO CHIEFS!
I felt like I crashed a wedding. Everyone was dressed so nice and I was covered in actual dirt and a little blood.
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