whoever gets the blood i just donated is getting a shit ton of free thc
girl in front of me at starbucks just ordered 7 shots of espresso in her latte. welcome to finals week
The more I look at him the more I wonder why anyone would ever want any of his features to be a part of their childs face.
We need to get her some penis inspired head protection.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
She asked me why I was wearing a Batman Suit. Have I ever needed a reason to wear a Batman Suit?
Apparently I grabbed her ponytail and cut it with an exacto knife.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
BING! You are now free to move about my panties. He just left for work.
I was woke up by the fucking Star Spangled Banner this morning. I sat up in bed and put my hand over my naked heart. I was so confused
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Trying to figure out what I just puked. Demon weed is salad. No more drunk buffets.
Why are there two phone calls to calgary police in my phone and why is there a voicemail from you asking for bail money
I swear to god those aren't related
I'll miss you, too. On the bright side, a night away from one another might give me a chance to recup seminal fluids.
We had sex to beyonce's "drunk in love" and then he order me pizza. It was perf
So here's a brief summary of my weekend: last night I drank four glasses of Death Punch, grabbed the toaster, said "This is mine", put it in my pants and walked out the front door.
I wouldn't know what to do. You never really mentally prepare for a cactus getting thrown at your face.
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