This dress was meant to end up on your floor
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
My vagina has officially become a vortex for sexually confused frat guys.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Both he AND his 17 year old son were hitting on me... I'm bridging generational gaps
I am dripping wet and slathered in glitter and banana mush. I love gay guys.
It was like watching porn, except it was in real life, and it was starring two of your best friends.
Dude you're alone at a bar with a woman, and you're talking about my junk?
Let me be the 15% helpful, 85% useless as shit angel on your shoulder.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I already googled the effects of Molly with my antibiotics, I should be fine.
Why is there even a knowledge base for that?!
My logic for bringing him home was, he's in law school so odds are he wouldn't kill me.
you were angry and didn't have anything else to throw so you threw a breakfast burrito...?
WHAT KIND OF DEALER ONLY WORKS FRI-SUN???
Ours, apparently.
I just gave my boss a blowjob. underneath his desk at work. that promotion is mine!
My brain is a dvd screensaver and I'm allowed to have a good thought when it hits the corner
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