I think my emotional moodswings have reached a new low. I cried for the entire duration of changing my tampon.
I am so horny I keep driving over the rumble strips... best half hour ever.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I found a tip from a dart in my bra this morning
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Please just tell me how ugly she was so I can bask in the diminishingly small reassurance that might give me
Please do not make a facebook page for my hickeys.
I only want to make out with him. Unless I get hungry. In that case I will take him home and screw him as a distraction from eating.
oh my god, just saw a man throw up in a trashcan and blood came out of his nose. HES GETTING ON MY BUS. HES SITTING ACROSS FROM ME. FUCK.
Whore. There is deli meat in my wallet.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For the record, rock bottom is where you start crying during porn because your ex used to slap your ass like that.. Continue on with your day now.
I used my iced coffee to ice the bump on my head from last night
Me sprinting out of your house without my bra or shoes is our entire relationship defined in a single moment.
I made a joke about The Hemingway being a really boring sex position where you blandly describe all the action and then kill yourself after you orgasm. He stopped responding. I've GOT to stop talking to everyone like they're you.
I might be offended if you don't bang me tomorrow. You know, for America.
There's a fuckload of syrup all over the floor.
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