Fyi: he's overweight and balding. My biological clock is ticking so loud I can't hear the TV.
This boy just came into class wearing sperrys and a polo but also carrying a longboard. I'm unequivocably attracted to his level of doucheyness.
i convinced her i was a yoga teacher by showing her some warm-ups my high school track coach made up
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
well I was pissed. first he yelled at me for having my own condoms, then he got mad when they didn't fit him. Dude, I only fuck magnum men.
I haven't even booked my flights yet and I have my drug supply sorted
Thank god crabs can't live on your head. Thank god.
I had 2 bags of iv saline fuilds for brunch and the buffet at the strip club for dinner. happy easter.
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Thank you <3 he just looked at me, fist bumped me, and asked me what was on my titty....we may cut her off
I don't think you understand...I'm really good at getting drunk
I should probably eat a Plan B. Pill for breakfast. Happy Halloween.
Bra is off & I'm snuggled in a pizza. Adulting is good.
Dentist appt at 2pm get milk poured on my tits by 2am
A marvelous 12 hours
We won like $80 last night at the casino, so if we get the Plan B we still have enough to get your basic bitch latte from Dunkin. Calm down.
Randomize