she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
He just bought a 100-pack of condoms of Amazon. My vagina is already tired.
so this was truly a case of the blacked out leading the blacked out.
This weekend is gunna be a fucking shitshow. I don't even wanna know how many dicks will end up inside of me
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Succesfully slept on the roof at work for 3.5 hours without getting caught. I need a promotion
I just used cruise control in a 25 zone. When will this hangover end???
Please stop hiding condoms in my house. If I want to have sex with you, I will let you know. FYI, my mom found the ones hidden behind the milk. She was not happy.
We are without power. He took ALL the lightbulbs out and hid them.
You go to bars with sophisticated older men, I steal lawn ornaments. Priorities
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Took off my bra at the laundry mat to throw it in I am officially white trash
I just sent a bad sext to my sister. There's not even a way to damage control this, is there?
I know I swore I wouldn't go home with him, but he whispered that he had taquitos and you know how much drunk me loves taquitos.
When we sit on the couch watching TV, she always cups her hand around my balls. Not sure if it's a sign of affection or a "power play" to remind me just how vulnerable I am if she chooses to make an aggressive squeeze.
If you wanna do actual business call my office. If you’re just looking to get laid you need to up your game
My parents left me the house for the weekend...you know what that means?!
Harry Potter marathon and no pants.
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