I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I woke up laying in alphagetti with the message "I'd go get checked asap" written out in the letters.
DO NOT FUCK HIM ON MY BEAN BAG CHAIR
Ya I fucked her.. But now Melissa is gonna find out
Just tell her that in a man's never ending war between his heart and his dick... His heart never wins
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
he just made me youtube cheetahs running and he thinks he is in a pool
when she was 9 she got kicked out of our 4-H camp dance for pole dancing on the spirit stick
We found a stripper pole in your closet. It seemed like a good idea. Alex will fix the hole in your wall. Sorry.
Well at least it wasn't the first time I threw up out of a second story window
We were fucking at break-dick speeds.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
dude he passed out in the strip club on his birthday, WHILE he was getting a lap dance. That drunk.
You kidnapped her dog. I don't care that you and the dog are epic bros, that's just not cool. Return him.
Why does everyone always assume I'm fucking their boyfriends?
You are fucking her boyfriend.
Why can't they just let me be the gorgeous cum dumpster that I know I'm meant to be?
When you realized the door was unlocked, you did the mission impossible yheme song and snuck into the bathroom. And continued it while you peed.
you have 10 seconds to explain why the toilet is full of bread or its ALL GOING ON YOUR BED.
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