just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
I would give my right arm to go back to college. Or maybe not. Would be kinda hard to pick up guys with one arm. Then again, knowin what I do now...I could take any freshman bithc with only one arm.
how many days can you live off of Vicodin and frosty?? im going on 4 days......
They woke me up at 4 in the morning screaming "drunk adventure time!" because they needed a sober chaperone. They made me walk them around the block shoeless.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Like. I probably should fuck him. I owe him for breaking his thumb.
It's great having no responsibilities. In normal life I would be freaking the fuck out right about now. But the only worry I have from last night is where i got this shower caddy full of cookies. God I love college.
No, the real question is if you drink like I drink why WOULDN'T you wear a cape.
Be there soon... with munchies, blow jobs and shoulder rubs.
I just realized I'm the burger in your burger and steak anology. Very disconcerting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
Also. After puking outside of the bar last night, some guy (who saw me puking) said I looked like Jennifer Lawrence, called me J Law, got my number and is now texting me. Who knew puking and rallying would do me any good
You put on a bike helmet, yelled "doesn't matter fuck it" then punched a stick the fire
Beer Olympics must happen in honor of the legit Olympics.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
I woke up wearing mittens dude
I woke up in my bathtub with the potted plant from downstairs.
checkmate.
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