i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
the smoke from my cigarette strangely resembles what patrick swayzes ghost will look like.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Just when I thought this night couldn't get any worse, my dad sang and dedicated Sexual Healing to me at kareoke night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just got a message from a guy on a dating site who says he helped me remove lime pulp from my eye in a club toilet 2 weeks ago.
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
EMERGENCY: IS A KAREOKE RICKROLL ACCEPTABLE IN THE YEAR 2011?
I had 800 mg of ibuprofen 2 b vitamins and I'm pounding water like I'm trying to win a hazing
So his mom walked in the kitchen while I was sucking him off and just casually suggested that "I'd need a glass of water after that"
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I feel like someone poured gasoline and bleach in my nose and lit it on fire.
Why! I don't feel that at all!!!! I feel jipped
She brought me back a blanket from Mexico, then we had sex on it
You dropped my mother on the dance floor. She has a concussion. You didn't apologize. Don't speak to me for a while.
That's how pantless uber rides happen
I told her we had to stay at the bar until at least midnight because that's when my direct deposit hit, don't tell me i'm not responsible
Wow first he impregnates you then he won't send you the sex tape you made together? Where has chivalry gone?
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