I really think my ability to vom without making noise mmight be my most useful talent
She looks like an uncircumcised penis in a hat.
Performed a legit marriage between 2 drunk people at last call yesterday. Becoming ordained has already paid for itself.
We had sex on a ferris wheel in canada, our relationship will never be the same
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
isnt it sad that we can reminisce about our childhood but we cant remember shit we did last month
you're acting like its my fault you're allergic to sperm or something.
i told you we never speak of that again
I had to throw a towel over the bottles cuz it hurts to look at them
No that means he must've used the nipple clamps
We have a pile of chopped wood here that suggests we may have chopped down a tree of some sort.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We have a vagina exchange agreement. Neither of us can hook up with any of our own law firm's summer associates. So we have a scout and referral program and invite each other to the other firm's summer events. Criss-cross!! Works every summer.
Out of curiosity, do you feel happiness for you, or sadness for ME, that you are the only one I drunk text?
Went home last night with a guy in a tutu, didn't know he was wearing a tutu until he threw it at me in the bedroom. God I love Halloween.
Probably yeah. I mean maybe one day we can be those friends that hang out naked. Not awkard at all.
Tears For Fears is the only thing getting me through life at this moment.
I swear I have some evil slut demon in me when I'm blacked out
Don't we all.
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