I can't remember if we talked about feelings. Fuck you Miller High Life.
he just quoted gucci mane to try and get me to give him head.
You make shower sex sound like waterboarding
I literally paid him in shots to clean my entire apartment. he even vacuumed...who said alcoholism is a bad thing??
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
Do you recall us playing flip cup on your head?
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
Hey, can you come over and kill me real quick
Apparently I used ziplock bags to smuggle my drink out with. By pouring it in one, then cut the corner like it was an icing bag later that night. What is wrong with me?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Go big or go home. i snuck in two beers in my bra. im here to win.
Yeah.. I'm sorry I broke your phone. But in my defense you handed me the frying pan.
How does one hint at their mentee that they used to casually fuck his brother
Is it normal, that tacos make me horny?
Our breakfast options are microwave popcorn, wavy lays and fireball
Of course you try to burn the house down on the one night we take down the smoke alarm so we can use the fog machine more
Randomize